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2001-11-07
   1:10 a.m.

You know

okay. this is sick. i really LIKE being a little funny in the head. i think it makes me more interesting, and i don't feel like me when i'm medicated back to normalcy. have i mentioned i'm on neurontin and paxil now? oh yes. that's right.

i'm scared of what i am when i'm not depressed.

when i was a practicing anorexic, it felt so graceful. all that determination. depression is the same, for me. it's beautiful to feel ugly all the time.

that makes no sense. i make no sense. my cigarette just tasted sweet, sugar sweet. brown sugar sweet. mmmm.